Mew World Order
Deck Primer
It's late. Kyle "Pooka" Sucevich is returning home after a long day at the Pokemon headquarters in Bellevue, Washington.
As Kyle walks out of the busier parts of the city to take his bus back home, there's a lot on his mind. The TCG standard format is the worst it's ever been in a long time. Vespiquen/Vileplume players draw their entire deck with the turbo Shaymin engine, taking five minutes to set up on turn one, in the hopes of assembling a combo that will determine the outcome of the entire game. Trevenant players set up Item lock with startling ease thanks to Wally and turn one Ascension. Puzzle of Time enables Night March to recover any lost resources at will. Non-interactivity is at an all-time high.
As Kyle turns the corner of Bellevue Way and 8th, he is startled out of his reverie by a cloaked and hooded figure who blocks his path.
The figure drops its hood to reveal an inhuman form - a green reptilian creature, with piercing eyes and pointed, loathsome fangs! Far from being surprised, Pooka scowls and shakes his head in disgust. Clearly, this is not his first encounter with their kind.
"What are you doing in Bellevue?" Kyle asks.
"As you know, the lizard people have taken over R&D in Japan, and we've been slowly bending the format to our awful will. But breaking Standard was only the first phase of our master plan. Now that players have begun to accept a degenerate game, we are finishing preparations to ruin the Pokemon TCG once and for all!" The lizard throws its head back and laughs a shrill reptilian laugh.
Pooka looks concerned, but fierce. "How could things get any worse? And why are you telling me this?"
"My friend, victory over humanity will be sweetest if we offer you the slightest glimmer of hope before snatching it away. Thus we, the kind and benevolent lizard people, offer you this one and only chance to save Pokemon. If you defeat me in a Pokemon TCG challenge of our devising, we will return control of the game back to your kind and leave the planet peacefully. But if you lose, we stay, and the game you love will be ruined... forever!"
Pooka does not hesitate. "I accept your challenge, to begin immediately. Where are we throwing down?"
The creature pauses for a thoughtful moment. "How about Maggiano's Little Italy? They have authentic family-style Italian dishes for a reasonable price. I know the owner; we should be able to play there for as long as we like."
Pooka nods uneasily, though it was not the venue that he, personally, would have picked as a first choice.
---
The pair arrive at Maggiano's to find a table waiting for them, complete with decks, damage counters, red Fennekin coin, and breadsticks. They take their seats as the creature explains the terms of the challenge to Kyle.
"We will play a best-of-1001 series in the very format that we plan to impose on humanity. It is a 60-card mirror - thus a true test of skill, with petty nuisances like bad matchups and tech cards removed entirely." The lizard extracts a shabby piece of paper from the folds of his robes and presents it to Kyle. "Behold... our finest creation!"
Kyle reads the paper once, and then again. He closes his eyes and sits in calm silence for a few moments. When at last he opens them, they are no longer the eyes of an employee of The Pokemon Company International. They are the eyes of a state champion. A regional champion. A national champion.
Our world's champion.
Kyle balances the Fennekin coin on his fingertips and asks the lizard man, "heads or tails?"
---
Some time later, Dylan "Exobyte" Mayo receives a mysterious text message from Kyle. "At Maggiano's. Please come pick me up. Maybe call an ambulance."
Dylan arrives at the restaurant to find Kyle alone at the table, barely hanging on to consciousness. His fingers are bloody from constant shuffling, and his hair is fraying at the ends. The remnants of a hard-fought battle are strewn across the table, along with the unfolded sheet of paper.
Pooka looks at Exobyte with red but hopeful eyes. "I did it, Dylan. The lizard people are gone. I beat them, 501 games to 377. We can start... to fix the format. When they ask... what happened to me... tell them... what I did..."
Kyle hands Dylan the paper and slumps over in his seat, finally bested by exhaustion. He had been playing Pokemon for twelve days straight.
As paramedics rush in to put Kyle on a stretcher, Dylan looks on with uncertainty. Was the format truly safe? Were the lizard people really gone? He tries to piece together what might have happened. The only clue is on the paper he now holds: a single decklist written in a delicate hand…
Mew World Order
4 Mew-EX
2 Rayquaza-EX ROS 75
2 Jirachi-EX
1 Shaymin-EX ROS 77
1 Hoopa-EX
--
10
4 Professor Juniper
3 N
3 Skyla
3 AZ
3 Xerosic
2 Lysandre
1 Elesa
4 VS Seeker
4 Ultra Ball
1 Pokemon Catcher
1 Super Scoop Up
2 Battle Compressor
1 Buddy-Buddy Rescue
1 Eco Arm
1 Tool Scrapper
1 Startling Megaphone
2 Head Ringer
3 Jamming Net
2 Weakness Policy
2 Float Stone
1 Hard Charm
1 Lucky Helmet
1 Fighting Fury Belt
1 Life Dew
2 Dimension Valley
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